Roundabout Dubai

A Big Bus Dubai Tour

Ever since I saw the Big Bus Company tours criss-crossing Dubai I wondered where these tourists go and what they see. I still don’t know. I’ve seen the double-decker buses leave Wafi City, usually virtually empty, and wondered if the trip includes much more than shopping malls and the museum. The fact that they start at Wafi City, the most outrageously expensive shopping mall in Dubai, and end there is very revealing. The company web site, referring to the bus as “the King of all sightseeing vehicles,” shows indeed that the Dhs.120 ticket includes a visit to the Dubai Museum and one to the Sheikh Saeed House at Heritage Village.; perhaps more importantly, it also includes a “free 2-hour beach tour” and even a “free walking tour”! I didn’t know there was a fee for beach touring and walking in Dubai! Never mind, I decide to put together a much more informative and exciting tour plan for the Big Bus. Here’s a preliminary plan subject to alterations later:

- Ok, start at Wafi City, but have a short visit first to the nearby construction site; give tourists helmets and make them stand out there for 30 minutes (no need for physical labor or climbing scaffolding).

- Karama Market Mall: Tourists can buy latest brand name gadgets and fashion plus many unique Dubai items for ridiculous prices (without having to bargain).

- Golden Sands Apartments Square (Bur Dubai): Ladies can disembark and check out the streets; see how many will get drive-by propositions. Men can watch the fun from their seats or take a more active role.

- Sheikh Zayed Road Ride: A must experience; make sure driver goes maximum speed for five minutes and passes by getting on the hard shoulder at least once.

- Al Qouz Cemetery Park: Tourists tour the cemetery and surrounding area; Get inspired by reflecting on life and death and enjoy the harmony between graves, remains of Oasis Mall, and luxury cars dealerships.

- Al Qouz City: Tour the attractions of the area, including an unschedueled visit to a labor camp (even if it’s empty).

- Jebel Ali Free Zone Crematory: Watch cremation alive, or at least tour the facility and do more reflection on the meaning of life. Take advantage of being there and visit the nearby Hazardous Waste Treatment Center.

- Palm Island Underwater Theme Park: Tourists can use naked eye or dive (diving equipment supplied free) to enjoy the incredible richness of marine life and coral diversity in that area.

- Immigration and Naturalization Department Spa Club: Tour this most popular area of the city; see how cheap and easy it is to get visas and sponsorships done; an added thrill: get a souvenire e-Dirham card by joining the quos in the local bank branch there.

- Al Baraha Hospital Land (formerly know as the Kuwaiti hospital): Walk around this charming place (it’s free) and make sure you visit the room where people wait for the mandatory x-ray and blood tests; don’t mess with the Bedu guy in charge (if he’s still there).

- Women Prison Paradise (AL Wasl): Reflect on the motto “the human being before the place”! Take your chance to check that out and see for yourself the human beings inside, their ages, nationalities, sentences, and how they ended up there.

- Back to Wafi City: This time though drop tourists on the other side of SZR and ask them to cross the street running in mid traffic. No other thrill comes close! If they make it alive, they can go shopping.

- That concludes our Big Bus tour of Dubai; thank you for riding with us!

posted by bandicoot @ 3:24 PM